Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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