im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
