im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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