im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
