member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
