Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
is wine microwaveable?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
