I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
