Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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