I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
