I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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