i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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