I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
