She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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