id be glad to
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
