Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
