Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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