Plan B is the new Plan A
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
