I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
