I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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