if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
