how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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