My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
