Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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