How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A bitchslap is in order.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
