Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
