In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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