dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Boobs are out for the taking
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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