he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
