Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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