My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
