She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
