We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
