Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
