he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
