he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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