I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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