so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
