i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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