Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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