so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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