singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
