What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
