I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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