I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
