I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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