I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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