You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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