she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
