It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
