No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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