theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
