White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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